10.2 We Can Begin Again

The day after Maya’s birth, Jonathan found himself waging an internal battle. He tried hard to shake it off and keep himself present, but his thoughts kept pulling him away. What he wanted to do was go somewhere quiet to be alone with his thoughts, but he didn’t want to leave Skyla alone with Maya. It wasn’t that he didn’t think she could handle her, but it was just too early. She should have been resting still, and he didn’t think it was right to abandon her at such a critical time. Fortunately for him, Skyla was smart and knew that he wasn’t completely there and suggested that he go for a walk, and he did not hesitate to take her up on the offer. When he left the house, he had no idea where he was going. He just walked. After an hour, he found himself in an empty field. It looked like it may have been an abandoned garden with a bench and a few flowers. He sat there and tried to convince himself that what happened was in the past and he should only focus on the future. But how? He was afraid. He had real responsibilities now, but they had barely enough money to cover the next cycle of bills. On top of that, very soon, they would need to buy a bed for their daughter. Sure, Skyla could spend her days painting and selling her works, but as the man of the house, he couldn’t allow that responsibility to fall on her shoulders. He had to do something. He could no longer continue on beating himself up about what he did or should not have done. Those feelings of hurt from losing a friend stung like a flu shot, and he wanted so badly for them stop driving him to a place of paralysis. He thought on these things and felt no better than when he first arrived and let out a loud sigh. Just as he was about to get up and leave, his eyes just happened to fall on the flowers.

Lilies…

He remembered the story his father told him about their family and how their founding father planted lilies and lived on the proceeds. Those flowers built the Pruett Estate. They were responsible for every luxury and privilege every Pruett ever had. But, here Jonathan was—a Pruett—sitting in a field of lilies with only the clothes in his suitcase and a few cooking books in his inventory living in someone else’s house crying about losing everything. How ironic. Or, was it? He felt suddenly optimistic about life, and a pleasant smile began to take over his face. Instead of looking at the lilies and feeling pain about what he lost, he saw possibilities.

It’s been done before! We came from nothing…we can begin again.

He got up, picked the flowers, and went home.