Balderdash: Entanglement

I miss my pre-baby body. People keep telling me I look great, and I appreciate the compliments. But, they don’t know how amazing I used to look! I was quite a bombshell in the day, if I may say so. Nowadays, I feel as round as the bomb. So, I got back in the gym. Naturally, on my first foray back, I hit the treadmill and the weight machines. I even tried rock climbing one time. Apart from showing how out of shape I am, one negative thing about the gym is you never know who you may run into. You can run into someone wonderful, or you can run into someone you’d rather avoid. And, sometimes you get stalkers.

Zayne complicates my life on so many levels. Overall, I’m glad he’s back for my son’s sake. After so many years of gently nudging him, he finally came around. But, personally, I’m not sure about him. Part of me thinks we should give it a shot for Emmanuel’s sake. Other parts of me say everything shouldn’t be about Emmanuel. I need to do what’s right for me. I just don’t know how to be around Zayne. I know he wants us to be together, and knowing just makes me very self-conscious. Being inside a gym is already humiliating enough when you don’t know what you’re doing. It’s personal, and kind of intimate, and I don’t want Zayne seeing me in that state right now. So, I quit the gym. I tried jogging, but spending that much time outside never appealed to me. I had no choice but to suck it up and go back to the gym. But, working out in the traditional sense was not what I wanted to do, so I took up yoga.

l loved it! The routines are slow, I can feel all my muscles being stretched and working together, and the music is so relaxing. I liked it so much, I attended different classes at different gyms just to learn more routines…and to see who I could meet. You never know! My future someone could be in one of those classes.

Balderdash: Cogitation

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