In America, we pride ourselves on having the gift of choice. We take it lightly, but choice really is a luxury. Try moving to another country and see how many choices you get! America was founded on choice. Christopher Columbus and crew came over because they wanted to be able to worship who/what, when, how they worshipped IF they wanted to worship. Everything we do and everything we say is a choice. Not only do we choose where to live, what school to go to, what car to drive, and other larger decisions, but also we choose to make smaller decisions throughout the day. We choose how we respond to certain people, how we speak, what we say, how we think, who we’re influenced by, and whom we influence. Sadly, most Americans think that society decides those things, but the fact of the matter is we all must choose how we function in society. I CAN’T STAND, ABHOR, DESPISE, LOATHE, DETEST, [any other adjective you think of !] this mentality that people have that makes them feel like they have no choices in life, whatever path they’re on was handed to them, and there’s absolutely NOTHING they can do to change. WHAT?! What kind of crap is that??? Unfortunately we see this a lot in poverty-stricken, low-income, urban areas. Now, yes…I can totally see how someone from this background could think like that. I mean…come on! All that stress of just trying to make it, and probably feeling ostracized and misunderstood by society is so weighty. Life isn’t always fair, but we all still have a choice. You can choose not to let your situation change you and fight to change your situation!
I don’t like it when people say “I can’t” when they don’t even try! Folks talkin’ ’bout they can’t speak correct English, can’t dress properly, can’t stay with their families, can’t make things work, CAN’T HELP THEMSELVES! Whatever you say you can’t do, is someone holding a gun to your head, holding you down, or in someway preventing you from doing whatever it is you say you can’t do? No? Well then…you CAN do it! HA! Why? Because you have a CHOICE! Just because everyone else is doing it, or not doing it, doesn’t mean that you have to do it as well. Are you a robot? Are you a clone of someone else? NO! You are unique and wonderfully made to be an ORIGINAL, so don’t die a copy. You are free to do/say whatever it is you’d like to do. You’re free to speak correctly, have a positive outlook on life, change your situation, be different, be better, do great things, vote for whoever you want to vote for and not for whoever “they” say you should vote for, treat everyone with respect, treat YOURSELF with respect…whatever you think you’re not allowed to do! JUST DO IT! We have choices!
Inspiring!
My disjointed thoughts on the topic:
No matter what our ‘station’ in life, I think everyone tends to get into a rut now and then, with the ‘I have no choice’ mentality. To some degree, due to unspoken social contracts, maybe that’s slightly true. However, we *do* all have a say in our behaviors/decisions/choices. I think sometimes people claim not to have a choice because they truly don’t see any alternative. (Abstract thinking and what-if scenarios aren’t taught in school much any more.) I think the best thing for someone in the I-can’t rut is for someone to come along and remind them that they *do* have choices, and to help them explore those choices.
For example… several of my friends at one point or another have felt they were trapped in a relationship, and have become unhappy for ridiculous reasons… fear of commitment or no longer able to appreciate their partner… whatever! (we’re *not* talking domestic violence or infidelity here…) Feeling like they have no choice contributes to the drama/tension/unhappiness. Once anyone points out (in the oft-quoted words of my dad’s army buddy): “If you’re not happy, leave; if you’re not enjoying yourself, you’re probably making everyone else miserable!” they begin to see the positive, and their actions and words reflect it.
I also favor the Socratic method for situations like these. Don’t supply answers; just ask questions, and in answering them, the target individual comes to realize what’s wrong and how to fix it. The reason it works is no one is *telling* them what to do… it’s all rational thought from their own heads.