Joneses – 13.8 Daddy Daycare

Bob had three days off in the middle of the week. One of those days, he hired the nanny to take care of the girls, but the other two days he was all on his own. All day. With the toddlers. Everyone either pitied him or thought he was a super dad. Being the family man he was, he welcomed the challenge. He loved being able to connect to his daughters and teach them things. Sure, Lily and Lexi were definitely a handful, but he could handle them. He had their routine down to a science.

First, he made sure either he went to bed early the night before or he kept the girls up a bit later than usual. The goal? To wake up and have breakfast alone.

Next, he cleaned up his mess and waited until he heard signs of life coming toward him.

“Da da!”
*giggles*

Whoever gets to him first gets all the attention, and other gets to sleep for as long as she wants.

The next few hours are routine. It begins with breakfast.

“Hey there, chicken nugget.”

“Do you think you can handle some yogurt today?”
“Yogi!”

*sigh*

“That’s not how you eat yogurt…”

Breakfast is, of course, followed by bath time. Getting the child into the bath can sometimes be a challenge, but Bob has not backed down from a challenge yet.

“Ok! Let’s get all that yogurt out of your hair.”

“Stop…Lexi…no splashing.”

“See…isn’t it nice when you sit still?”

“Squeaky clean. Up you go.”
“Weeeeeee!”

After bath time, it’s time for school. Bob would much rather let them play and have fun, but if they don’t do their flash cards, Eliza will not be pleased.

“Let’s see how much you remember…”

“Heh, do you know what this is? This is what we wish you and your sister would do. Do you know what this is?”

…

“Sleep. In this bed. Night night. That’s what we want.”

“No nigh nigh!”

“Ooh! This is what daddy does at work. Do you know what daddy does?”

…

“This is an easy one! Just think about what I do at home.”

“Gree cheese!”

“Grilled cheese? What in the world do you know about grilled cheese?”

“Mommy made you a grilled cheese sandwich? Mmm hmm.”

After school is out, he leaves them to their own devices for a short while. This could be either the most stressful time of day or the easiest time. Note the other child is not up yet. Bob is not concerned.

“I poo pooed!”

*gasp* “And in the potty! Yay poo poo in the potty!”

“Robert!”

“Mommy’s home. Time for dinner.”

The next part of Bob’s plan is to wake up the other child who should be very hungry by then so they can all have dinner together. Eliza, however, does not realize this is part of Bob’s strategy and goes on the warpath.

“She’s still sleeping?!”

“Mommy?”

“You let Lily sleep all day? You can’t let them sleep all day, Robert! She’s going to be up all night now! This is counterintuitive for us getting them to sleep all night…”

She goes on and on and on. Bob just smiles and nods.

“We know what we’re doing, right girls?”

He puts the one who was up all day down for a nap and tends to the other one while she sleeps. He goes through the same routine with the other baby, puts them both down for the night and does it all again the next day. He’s got this.