When she walks on the scene, all the witnesses line up and give full statements with facts they didn’t realize they knew.
She doesn’t find clues. The clues appear when she walks into the room.
She analyzes evidence just to appear like she’s doing something because she already knows what they are.
She never talks to the inmates. They know which one she wants and what to do just by looking into her eyes.
Evildoers correct their ways simply by being in her presence.
She writes citations for the crimes you’re thinking of committing.
She’s not afraid of busting kids. She wants all vermin off the streets.
She is every captain’s dream and every criminal’s nightmare. Who is this enigma? She is Detective Eliza Pancakes…and don’t you forget it.