Joneses – 4.5 Advice

Everyone knows Mary does not have a job; she never has. Back in Newcrest, she was climbing the social ladder of success and always had a laundry list of things to do: Bake cookies for school; organize charity event; chaperone kids’ events; have lunch with Mrs. So-in-so Big Wig. She had none of that in Willow Creek, and without her program, she felt lost. Her children were near grown and didn’t need her, and her husband didn’t want her. What could she do? She kept playing the part until something came about. So, every day, she got dressed just to go to the mailbox…

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She relaxed in their pool…

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She jogged.

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As of late, she has added a more expensive past time on her list: the spa! She finally made it there after getting directions from Jared. Her life was so stressful, and she was always tense. There was only so much relaxing beside the pool could do. When she got to the locker room, she changed into a robe and caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. She didn’t like what she saw and thought she looked older; she never considered her age before.

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She quickly wiped those thoughts away and put on her game face. There was no way she would let anyone catch her looking down—not that anyone was watching.

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Mary would never admit it, but she was a little lost in the facility. She wasn’t quite sure where the massage area was. However, finding it was the least of her worries. She wandered around pretending to take a leisurely stroll around the place until she stumbled across a dimly lit, secluded area down a corridor with blue, glowing lights. She tip toed down the hallway to see where it led, and to her surprise, she ended up right where she needed to be. However, when she found the masseuse, she did not look happy.

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Maunika Millstone was her name, and reading people was her game. She had been in the service industry all her life. As a girl, she was a babysitter and worked in retail. In her younger adult life she has been a waitress, housekeeper, and she’s even a certified personal trainer. She knew all about people. One look at Mary and she knew she was going to earn every simoleon she made from that one massage. Mary was a bit uncomfortable and didn’t know why Maunika was looking at her like that.

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“Uh…are you free?”

Maunika looked her up and down. “Mmmm hmmm,” she said reluctantly. She pulled out another robe from a drawer and gave it to her. “You have on the wrong robe.”

Mary stood there looking at the robe and was a bit flabbergasted. Somehow she felt like she had offended this woman, but she hadn’t a clue what she had done to her.

“Well don’t just stand there,” Maunika said. “Go change!”

Mary was startled and jumped. “I’m sorry! I…I’ve never been here!”

“That’s obvious. G’on now!”

Mary practically ran out of the room while Maunika laughed to herself. “Ooooh boy. I better stretch!”

Mary returned in her proper attire and looked a bit nervous. She wasn’t quite certain she wanted to get massaged by someone who clearly did not like her. She carefully lay down on the table and prayed Maunika did not snap her neck.

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“My name is Maunika, m-A-U-n-i-K-a,” she spelled as she slathered some muscle relaxing lotion on Mary’s back. “What am I doing for you today?”

Not killing me! “I need the deepest massage you can give me.”

“Heh, yes ma’am.” Be careful what you ask for, little lady! She slathered a bit more lotion on her back and down her arms. Plum! She could already feel how tight her muscles were and she hadn’t even began the massage yet. I’m gonna need a drink after this…she could use one too! Maunika threw her head from side to side, forcing out the kinks in her own neck before she went to work on Mary. “So…you’re a stay-at-home mom?”

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Mary gasped. “H-how did you know that?”

Maunika laughed. “Relax, relax. You’re not that mysterious.”

Mary breathed a sigh of relief.

“I mean, it’s the middle of a week day… Your hands are very well manicured, and your muscles are tight as freezer bunny lips, girl! What’s got you so uptight? Your husband ain’t giving you none?” She pulled Mary’s left shoulder toward her back to stretch the muscles in her neck.

Mary growled. “Oooooooooh! What are you doing to me??”

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“It’s all right. When I get done with you, you gonna be as limber as a baby. Trust me.”

Mary knew Maunika’s question about her marital relations was rhetorical, but in a way it was nice to have someone who didn’t know her to talk about it, and she answered her through grimaces of pain. “He won’t let me!”


“What you said…about…not, umm, not getting any? He won’t let me.”

Maunika laughed hysterically at Mary’s polished yet awkward cadence. This girl is too white bread for me! ”I’m not laughing at you, I swear. But ummm, in a woman’s world, there is no much thing as ‘he won’t let me.’ That’s an excuse, girl! You ain’t trying hard enough!”

“But…I think he hates me!”

“Girl please. If he’s still around he don’t hate you that much. And even if he does, he’ll give you some in the right situation. I know all about men! Woo hoo is like water for a man. They can go for few a few days without it, but eventually they’ll get thirsty. If they get thirsty enough, they’ll take water from anywhere, honey. You been offering that man an empty glass!” She tried the stretch from before, and Mary was still just as tight. “Sweet watcher! I’m gonna get you right if it’s the last thing I do!”

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Mary wailed. She was panting, attempting to breathe through the pain. “But…he won’t let me near him! We only sleep in the same bed because we don’t have a spare room.”

“Girl, bye! That’s nothing. Once you show him what he’s been missing, you’ll wish you had a spare room so you can sleep at night! I mean…y’all must have had something before, right? I mean, he married you for something, right?”

“Heh…yeah. He married me for something all right,” she said quietly.

“You got to take back what belongs to you, honey! If he don’t go to you, go to him! Don’t stop until he’s all in! You hear me?”


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