When a family member dies, it is sad. It hurts for a while, but then it gets better. As we grow older, death becomes something to expect. But, no matter how prepared one thinks he is, no one is ever prepared to lose the one he loves so dearly.
The death of a spouse is something I’m not sure one ever gets over. It feels like someone sliced you open with a blunt knife and ripped your heart out. It leaves a nasty, gaping wound that never closes or heals. It gets infected a lot. You keep treating it, and it gets a little better, but then the infection comes back. The inflammation is painful, and you may even find yourself feverish. You want to do die too, but death never comes. It isn’t your time. You simply have to deal with the pain and keep living.
When I lost my wife, I also lost my best friend. I had no one to love…no one to talk to. My children are wonderful. If they were not here, I would surely die. But not even their love and support can replace the love that was lost. When life seems meaningless, children have a way of reminding you that all is not lost and there is still much to live for. In those moments, I’ve found little glimmers of hope which tell me that, eventually, life will be good again. It will never be the same, but it can be enjoyable. The fact of the matter is, life goes on without you. Will you go with it, or will you be left behind?