Marriage and fatherhood is hard work. Very hard work. It was great when it was just me, Dee, and Jazzy. I could pour all my energy, time, and devotion into two awesome people. Now I have Dee, Jazzy, Jayla, and Jayden! I thought being surrounded by pitter patter of little feet would be a blast–and it is–but it’s soo hard keeping up with all these kids! And they’re all soo different! For the most part, they are wonderful children and they don’t get into much trouble. Of course, girls will be girls, and sisters fight, but they go right back to be friends within five minutes.
I needed some time to myself to think, so I made myself a birthday cake and celebrated alone. I wished for my children to grow up to be healthy and successful and that Dee and I would have the strength to make it.
I’m not saying that there is trouble in paradise because we are both still very happy with each other and our new role in life. But, I’m just concerned that things aren’t what they used to be. Well, for us there was no “used to be.” I mean, we met in high school, messed around for a while, I graduated and didn’t see anyone else while I waited for her to graduate, we got married, and then we were pregnant! Maybe these feelings that I have are normal, but I need to make sure Dee is ok. I think she needs to know how I feel about her.
Life never slows down! I had been trying to wait for the “perfect” time to talk to Dee, but that time never came! First of all, she’s ALWAYS in the kitchen because these kids are ALWAYS hungry! I don’t remember Ava and I eating this much!
At one time I had gotten promoted, and my hours changed to 8-4. I wasn’t too thrilled about going to work earlier, but at least I got to spend time with my kids before school. It was soo great to be able to walk them to the bus stop in the mornings!
Anyway, back to the story.
I miss my wife!! I really do. I recently was promoted again, and I now work from 1-9 and Dee works 3-11. It’s soo good that Jazzy is older and responsible because I would hate having three young children at home alone every night. Our schedules do not coincide at all! I have weekends off, and she doesn’t. I have Tuesdays off, and she has Thursdays off. When are we ever going to see each other?! I thought we would finally have a few hours alone the day after Jazzy’s birthday, but it turns out that she didn’t have to go to school that day. It didn’t matter. I had to talk to Dee! After she got the twins ready and off to school I asked her to join me in the den.
I took her hand and just looked at her. I stared deeply into those light brown eyes that mesmerized me the first time I saw her.
“Hi,” I said with a satisfying grin on my face.
She knew. She smiled back. She probably had a thousand things to do including going to bed before work, but she knew we needed this.
“Are you happy,” I asked.
“Of course I am! Why do you ask?”
“I just…I don’t know. Things have been soo crazy lately, and we see each other like every three days for minutes at a time! I feel like we’re more like roommates than husband and wife. And things between us happened so fast…sometimes I feel like we don’t even really know each other that well.”
She looked at me as if she had anticipated this conversation years ago and she finally was going to say what she needed to say. She gently touched my arm an completely blew my mind with the story she told me.
“I understand what you mean. Do you know why it was so easy for me to fall in love with you and agree to marry you as crazy as that was? I know your parents died when you were little, and that’s rough. But you had parents who loved you. You had parents, an aunt, uncle, and a cousin who sacrificed her young adult life and raised you. I didn’t have ANY of that. My mom was a real whore! She screwed everything that walked. She didn’t have me and my brother because she was getting old and wanted to settle down. She had us because she finally got caught. She never wanted to have children. When my father found out she was pregnant, he left her and she raised me alone. When I was two, she went out one night and met another man. When he found out she had a child, he left her too, but by then she was already pregnant again. She was devastated because she had never been rejected before. She said that we were ruining her life, so she sent us to live with my grandma. It was at my grandma’s that I learned about family, sacrifice, love, and how to be a lady. When I met you, I knew you were a proud and conceited jerk, but I saw more than that! I knew you were just messing around with me because you could–“
“Oh my goodness, I’m soo embarrassed! You knew I was playing with you? Then why did you marry me?”
“That’s what I’m trying to explain, Aiden! Yes, I knew you were playing with me, but I knew you weren’t a player. You pretended to be, but that wasn’t you. You never even looked at another girl when you were so-called ‘playing’ with me. Even after you turned 18 and could have thrown me away for a grown woman, you didn’t. I knew you had the potential to be everything my grandma taught me about how a man should treat a woman how families are supposed to be.”
She called my bluff! I knew she was very discerning, but I had no idea she saw completely through me! What an AMAZING woman I have. I didn’t even know she was that amazing!
“Dee! How could you have seen all of that when I didn’t even see it myself?
“I guess you could say it’s a woman’s intuition.”
“I know! So, let me just put you at ease here. I know things are hard. Sometimes I really don’t like it, and I do get frustrated…”
“You do? When?”
“I’m never gonna let you see that. Life doesn’t always go as we plan it, so we have to be flexible enough to take whatever life gives us. Life gave me a horrible mother and home life, but now I get to be great mom to three amazing children! Do I get to spend as much time with them as I’d like? Heck no! But I love them, and I know that they know I love them and that’s enough for me. You and I never see each other, but you don’t complain, you don’t make me feel bad, and you’re still here. I couldn’t have asked for a better life! Besides, it’s not always going to be like this.”
“Oh, Dee…can you forgive me? I haven’t completely understood what a gem you are and haven’t been treating you as such.”
“Oh really? If this has been you not treating me well, then I’m not sure if I can handle you treating me right! You’ve been SO good to me!”
“Well, get ready because I’m going to be even better to you starting right now! I need to tell you something that I have never told you before that is long past due.”
“I love you!”
“Eww! Why don’t you guys get a room,” Jazzy said.
“We have plenty of rooms…why don’t you go to yours!”
“Aww, daddy! I was just playing.”
“Sure you were. Ok, my two favorite ladies, I have to get ready to go to work. I love you both…especially you, sweet thang.”
“I love you more!”
“Awwww, that was sooooo sweeeeet! I hope somebody calls me ‘sweet thang’ one day,” Jasmine said.
“Someone will, my darling…but it better not be for a long time. A very very VERY long time,” Dulce snapped.