Joneses – 9.6 Thank the Watcher

“Good morning, Les! I was so worried when you weren’t here when I got home! When I picked up the phone to call you, I saw I had a voicemail. I thought it was you, so I listened to it. It was that guy who was here. He said he wished you luck on your date!

“Soooooooooo, are you gonna tell me about it?

“Oh no. Did something happen? Oh no…she…she dumped you?

“Don’t worry about it, hon. This is just your first date. Now that you’re older, there are plenty of other gnomes in the yard!

“Are you really not gonna tell me what happened?

“Come on, Les! You know you waaaant toooo.”

“I’m such a punk, mom.”

“Tell me what happened.”

“I was supposed to kiss her. I punked out. She’s never gonna want to see me again, is she mom?”

Kissing? You tried to kiss someone?

“Oh, Lester! That’s wonderful!” She couldn’t get too excited. That would mean the end of their conversation. She was already elated to hear he had been on a date period, but to learn how successful said date was? Well, inside, she was doing backflips. “Ok, honey, I know you feel like plum, but don’t worry about it that much. I’m sure she was nervous too! Everyone is nervous on their first kiss.

“Wanna know a secret?”


“The first time your dad French kissed me, I threw up!”

“That’s gross, mom!”

“Yeah…it was. I thought for sure he’d never call me again. Anyway, throwing up is way worse than being chicken, right?”

“Yeah… I guess.”

“So will you promise you won’t hide from her?”

He sighed. “Yeeeah. Ok.”


She loved her son dearly. She always wanted a closer relationship with him. A few days ago, when she learned that he would go with her to Matthias’s house–if she chose to go there–was a happy day for her, and she looked forward to spending more time with him. However, she didn’t want him to be stuck with her forever. If he chose to live with her because it was easier, or he wanted to keep the house after she died, that would be one thing. It would be another if he lived with her because he was unlucky with love. She didn’t want to be the mother of the 190 day old virgin.

WOOT! He’s kissing girls! THANK. THE. WATCHER.

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